some people are natural communicators. they connect with others. they can share their lives, their experiences. and that’s natural to them.
i am more of a loner type. i have a small but close network, i watch my back. and i watch what i say and who i say it to. i’m slow to open up to people. characteristics of someone who remains intentionally distant to protect themselves against repeats of past hurtful experiences. this makes the blogging experience somewhat… interesting. just putting myself out there for whoever to read. an exercise in personal growth, maybe. eerie, yes.
and then there’s the whole thing i’m trying to convey about how people with… challenging… histories like mine still somehow reach success. more exercise in personal growth. exceedingly difficult for me. not at all typical of the girl who sits behind this keyboard.
it’s hard to keep up an appearance when i avoid too much attention. i do seem to actively keep people at a distance by a series of subconsciously calculated moves and words.
leigh comes off tough as brass knuckles. fearless. confident in her experiences, confident in where she will end up with the sufficient number of steps. she’s not your average girl, this is clear from the beginning. she doesn’t always know what to say, so sometimes she just says nothing. or the wrong thing. she can be a little awkward.
inside, she’s a little unsure of her next move, whether things will turn out for her, whether what she just said was right. on the other hand, she knows she’s got a history of having a good instinct: making the right moves, grabbing the right opportunities, knowing the right things. this girl applied to ONE college: the toughest admissions state college in her home state, practically on a whim, and got in. later it was a small handful of top-5 grad programs, she had her pick. she tries to balance the arrogance of her past successes with the self-doubts of the future.
she rewards friendship and camaraderie handsomely. she’s loyal as can be. a straight shooter. she’ll out-badass that crazy chick who you just spilled your beer all over, to get you out of a barfight. she’ll make you soup when you’re sick and always offer a helping hand or advice to anyone who asks.
but you’ll never know that from first meeting her. the first view you get of her in a casual meeting is the socially distant, very direct, she’ll-kick-your-ass version. just ask the younger grad students in her lab.
that’s just another part of who she is. the shell is tough. it’s good protection.

8 comments
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June 9, 2009 at 8:50 am
scicurious
You also get the impression of a seriously formidable intellect. I saw you and thought “damn, this girl knows a LOT more than I do”.
Appearances and a shell are not necessarily bad things. They do make it clear who your friends really are. But they can also hide something that is wrong, and that people may need to know about. Thus, shells are fine, as long as you know when to poke your head out.
June 9, 2009 at 9:46 am
leigh
haha, Sci! i got the same impression of you, actually.
i always have a few people who i know have my back. they get to hear it all. unfortunately, leaving this place and leaving behind my best science ally EVER is going to hurt me badly.
i can’t believe i’m at all remorseful about walking away from mega u.
June 9, 2009 at 10:38 am
Miss Outlier
I’ve been told I come off as anti-social. Also been told I have a facade, and would be good for the CIA.
I agree that past hurtful experiences can do a lot to develop that.
But I have found that when I do open up, there are wonderful friends who can be such an encouragement. Sometimes, people are awesome.
And so are you, all sides of you!
June 9, 2009 at 2:47 pm
JLK
And those are excellent reasons for why I love leigh so much – because in many ways, she’s a lot like me.
(Except for the whole “past successes” thing. I’m still working on that one.)
June 9, 2009 at 5:53 pm
leigh
Miss Outlier: a CIA-Outlier? that could be srsly awesome. unless you already work there and this is all a cover.
i still have a generalized distaste for humanity. maybe i’ll get over it one of these days.
JLK: birds of a feather, hm?
you’re getting to your future successes. much like me.
July 1, 2009 at 9:57 am
Patchi
This is a great post, do you mind if I include it in the July Scientiae Carnival?
July 1, 2009 at 10:07 am
leigh
sure, Patchi! i’ve never been in a blog carnival before.
July 1, 2009 at 10:46 am
Patchi
Thanks! I should have it up by the end of the week. Check here:
http://scientiae-carnival.blogspot.com/