i’m chomping at the bit to finish the current giant study and move on to the last item on the List. the final item is about as nontrivial as what i’m working on now, but has the psychological advantage of being the last item on abovementioned List. that kind of advantage cannot be beat, even if there is another ton of work involved to finish it.

this morning i had a very helpful conversation with the boss. now that i’m a senior in the final data-producing phase of grad school, i feel like i am treated as a grown-up scientist, if that’s an appropriate analogy. albeit one who still needs to learn some stuff by experience. we talked data and discussed the paper that it will go into. i still feel like i need to justify my existence with the occasional update of what i’m doing, and these updates are always welcome. but never is any doubt or concern expressed that i’m not doing exactly what i should be doing and busting my ass.

i guess that’s because, as i’m told, you get most of your data your final year of grad school. i did not believe this until… this year.

final topic of discussion was that i am not ready yet to schedule the (presumably?) final committee meeting. in a way, this is good. i don’t think i could handle the pressure of that on top of what i’m already juggling. and knowing me, i would have put that stress on myself if i was allowed to. i’m kind of an asshole to myself like that. no, that will come in its time, but not until then.

nope, i’m focusing on work. work, work, work. and exhaustion. and lots of anti-allergy drugs, because i can’t handle the effects of long-term exposure to rats anymore.